I wrote this back in February and have yet to post it, so here it is.
I am about to get married in eight days. EIGHT DAYS. As this big day approaches, my mind has been teeming with many different thoughts and emotions. I feel so much excitement at reaching this milestone in life, and beginning my new life with my husband-to-be. I am excited for the bridal brunch my aunt so thoughtfully planned, for the wedding rehearsal dinner, and of course for the wedding day itself. I am excited to get my hair and makeup done, to have professional pictures taken of myself with those I love on one of the biggest days of my life. I am excited to begin my forever with the love of my life. I am excited for our short but sweet honeymoon to be spent in the Utah red rocks.
However, I am also anxious. I am anxious that things will not go as planned on the wedding day. I am anxious about the difficulties of marriage. I am anxious about the unknown future of being a military spouse. I am anxious about the strains that deployments might place on our marriage, about moving out of my home state of Texas for the first time in my life, about moving away from my family and the place I call home.
In today’s day and age, marriage doesn’t mean what is used to. I think marriage is not taken as seriously and is not entered into with the gravity of understanding of what it really is- a lifelong commitment to live out the rest of your days loving and supporting another human being. Marriage is huge. It isn’t just saying “well we’ve been dating for awhile, I guess we should get married” or “we’ve lived together already, might as well make it legal”. Marriage is the daily commitment to pursue your husband or wife, to work to grow your relationship with him or her, the promise to always have his or her back and be supportive, and to be faithful to that one person for the rest of your life. Marriage is meant to happen once in a lifetime, and it’s meant to be a source of joy and contentment in our lives. It isn’t meant to be easy, but it’s meant to be steadfast. (Of course in abusive cases, or in cases of cheating and unfaithfulness, this does not apply and those things should never be tolerated). Knowing all this, how massive of a union I’m about to enter into, makes me anxious. I have no doubt that my fiancé is the one I want to grow with and love with and learn with. But the unknown future and the unknown trials that we will face are scary.
However, I have faith. I have faith that the Lord would not have brought us together, and brought us through the last five years of being miles apart, if this were not something good. I have faith that God has a bigger plan for me and my life and I will trust that there’s a plan and a reason for anything and everything we will go through. That does not mean I will passively go about this life with the feeling that what happens happens and is God’s plan. I will fight for our marriage, fight for our happiness, and work for our commitment to love. I will also know that any struggles we are given and tough times we encounter are not the end of the world, and that they are meant to further serve our relationship.
Home will be wherever I am with my husband, and it will be the life we create together. By the grace of God alone, I even met my fiancé. Faith in God has brought me through the darkest, most difficult times of my life so far, and it will continue to carry me through the future challenges.
This premarital time has been an interesting, exciting, stressful, and at times scary one. But I am looking forward to the adventures of being a military spouse, the growth we will experience together, and the bond we will continue to strengthen over the years. Those are my thoughts on marriage.